IT Support Researcher’s Disappearance Sparks Alien Abduction Rumors in Miami
Miller’s Gone Missing
“Yes… no, we can have somebody… Well, it’s been a few days… No, he’ll be… Yes, he’s very passionate about IT support in Miami— well same to you— no, wait— shoot.” Bill hung up the phone, pushed back from his desk and heel-toed it to the main office, knocking on the side of the open door and starting in as soon as LAN Infotech ‘s CEO turned around in his swivel chair: “Mike, that’s the third call today. You got anything on Miller?”
The CEO stared at his second-in-command a full minute, exhaled, said: “We got nothin’, Bill. No call, no note, no nothin’.”
“Well, what do we know?”
“Miller’s gone fishin’!”
“Mike, he’s one of the key researchers we’ve got in the region!”
CEO Mike Jerry stood up, puffed out his lips, and ran hands through his hair. “Boy, that’s an understatement. Miller’s probably the best IT support researcher in Miami, Fort Lauderdale, or anywhere else in a 50-mile radius. You think I don’t know that?”
“Well I got people calling in, and they want Miller. Miller and nobody else… I mean we’ve got some very talented folks, but Miller’s one of a kind!”
“What does he do, bake ’em a cake after he fixes their servers? Good gracious—”
A New Hope?
There was a buzz, and a light blinked on the big screen behind Mike’s desk. Mike tapped a key on the infrared board he had projected on the front of his swivel chair; the receptionist in the lobby showed up: “Sorry, Mike, he bulled his way in—”
As if on cue, a pale bald man with fully reflective sunglasses in a cheesy suit shouldered the secretary aside and put his face right up to the camera: “This is LAN Infotech? Key provider of IT support in Miami?”
Mike looked at Bill. Bill shrugged. Mike gave him a “shoo” motion and turned back to the screen: “Of course it is; it says that on the door, don’t it? Now, who’re you, you goon?”
The bald man had a thick Russian accent. Or some kind of accent, it was hard to pin down. He replied: “The same IT firm supplying:
- On-Demand Support/Response
- Tech Fixed Right Initially
- Flat-Fee Services
- Expert Consultation
- Ongoing and Proactive Maintenance
- 24/7 Support and Fast Response Times
…among other things?”
Mike rolled his eyes. “What, did you memorize a pamphlet? Yeah, that’s us—”
“We are having found your missing person,” said the man in his strange accent.
“…what do you mean?”
“He was providing no IT support in Miami,” now the bald man began to snicker in a strange way, “Or anywhere Earthly, for that matter!”
Mike felt a sinking in his stomach. “I’m listening.”
“I am with… exterior agency. Your man… he is being found at coordinates of— you are knowing the latitude and longitude?”
Mike’s forehead crinkled. “Uh…”
“He is being found at 28 degrees north, 81 degrees west. In the north part of the big Kissimmee lake. Muah!” And he blew a kiss to the camera. “You are seeing? I am making big joke. Heh-ha!”
Then there was a flash, and the camera dropped, and the receptionist screamed, and the bald man was gone.
“We are a loyal LAN Infotech client and have had the pleasure of working with them on a major network infrastructure project. We find their network engineers to be knowledgeable regarding the latest hardware and software solutions. LAN Infotech is especially strong when it comes to network security issues.”—Lisa Carman
Siegfried, Rivera, Lerner, De La Torre & Sobel, P.A.